director's reflection: evoking childhood

NAME: Brenna Empey

FILM: Evoking Childhood

DP: Hailey Davis

TMA 285 DIRECTOR’S REFLECTION

Overall response (2-3 paragraphs):

In 2-3 paragraphs, write an overall response to your film: Were you successful at achieving what you set out to achieve? What are you proud of? What would you do differently if you could remake this piece? What did you learn?

           As a third party spectator with no prior knowledge of the subject matter or metaphor being presented in this film, I’m not sure if I would have understood what was going on. The overall response to my film was positive – people seemed to like the feelings it evoked, and thought it was pretty, but not many viewers seemed to understand what it was about. Most of the confusion came from the fact that nobody knew who the characters were or what they were supposed to represent. A lot of people were thinking that it was a romantic piece, or that the two characters were siblings, which isn’t what I was going for.

            From a personal standpoint, I think the film ended up being what I wanted it to be. I got the basic metaphor across in the way I wanted to, which was by eliminating eyes from every frame to distance the viewer from the characters. My actors had great interactions, although I do think that my directing could’ve been better about making things less flirtatious and more father-daughter. I don’t know if this is the subjectivity of the viewer that made it seem like flirting, but I do think I could’ve added more narrative elements to suggest that the woman sitting at the table was in fact a child.

            I think the part of my film that worked best was the end, when we match-cut to the little girl coloring with crayons. Even if the viewers didn’t know the exact meaning behind that reveal, they thought it was cool and it got them thinking about the overall meaning of the film.

Briefly answer the following:

What, specifically, did you want to communicate? Were you successful? Why? Why not?

I wanted to communicate the idea that as a child, I felt like I had to act like an adult to fit in, since I was an only child for the bulk of my childhood. I was surrounded by adults, whether they were my parents or extended family. This also made me pretty emotionally disconnected from my peers and family members because I was trying to become something I wasn’t through imitation.

How, specifically, did you try to say this? What visual elements, techniques, etc. did you use?

The woman and the child in my film are the same person, but the woman is a physical metaphor for the mental state of the little girl as she interacts with her father. As I said before, because of my experience as a child, I was often emotionally distant from my peers and family members, which is why I deliberately excluded seeing eyes in my film – eyes are where emotions are expressed the strongest. To make this idea register more, I included the Teddy Grahams with all their heads broken off. The color temperature also changes when the little girl is revealed, in hopes that it would make it more obvious that the scenes with the woman were all metaphorical.

What did you learn about storytelling:

            I learned that I need to be more generous with narrative elements. I wanted the story to be overly simple because I didn’t have much time to tell it, so the only “childlike” things I had the woman do were to draw a picture and eat Teddy Grahams while interacting with her father. I think if I had added more childlike elements it would’ve sold better that she was a child the entire time.

Working with actors and getting performance:

            This was an interesting experiencing for me because I’ve never really identified myself as a director, and I don’t think I’m very good at working with actors. I tend to prefer working with actors that I already know, which is limiting in some ways but overall a better choice for me. In that respect, working with people I knew was fairly easy because I already knew how to talk to them. I also had an advantage with this film because there wasn’t much dialogue and pretty much everything the actors did was blocking-related. I was lucky that the actor who played the father was so good with kids – and I knew this from a previous film I’d casted him in – so when he was interacting with the little girl at the end it looked very natural.

Blocking — camera and actors:

            The hardest thing about blocking this film was making sure eyes never got into the frame. I really had to figure out how to make it clear that they were interacting and enjoying each other’s company without seeing their eyes. I think for the most part I achieved my goal except for when the woman eats the Teddy Graham and turns to the man. I think the framing ended up being weird on that one, because while it’s easy to see that eyes should not be visible in this shot, the framing feels awkward and forced. The film itself isn’t full of stylistically unique framing, so this shot feels like it’s from another film.

Visuals — composition, framing, visual elements:

            The intention of this film was to feel warm and familiar, but I think the deeply saturated warm coloring might have been overkill. It’s especially jarring when the little girl is revealed at the end, and the coloring seems a lot more natural. I was trying to make the scenes with the woman more stylized and unreal so that the audience would be able to identify its metaphorical nature, but I think it would’ve been better if I kept the coloring consistent. The extreme warms looked gimmicky to me. However, I love how the lighting turned out! We were imitating a sunset late into the night and we were lucky that our location had such high windows we could work with.

Design & Art Direction:

            I was lucky to end up with an actress who is also a production designer on this film, so I was able to communicate exactly what I wanted done with the props and such and she delivered every time. That was a pretty easy aspect of the art direction. One part that was hard, though, is that we had to make quick location and space changes to the script when we arrived at our shooting location. We were originally going to shoot a couple shots in a kitchen, but when we arrived, the homeowners had forgotten we were coming and were using the kitchen for the rest of the night. So I had to re-visualize how I wanted the scene to look in a different space, and thankfully I think it turned out all right.

The Production Process — collaboration with crew, the logistics of making this piece:

            I think the production process for this film was just another testament to the fact that in the film industry, it’s all about who you know. I didn’t have to post a public announcement online that I needed actors or a location or anything like that, because I’ve worked on enough productions that I had connections and knew exactly which locations and actors I wanted, so I contacted them directly and got everything confirmed early on. A situation with my original actress arose that I thought was going to hinder shooting, but it ended up working out – my original actress was stuck in traffic and wouldn’t be to Provo for an hour after call time, so I asked a friend to come act last-minute. My original actress, then, came and helped gaff and set dress when she finally arrived on set, and it worked out well because I wasn’t planning on having so much help.

                  

What was it like to watch your film with an audience? Did they understand it? Miss the point? Why did they respond the way they did?  

            Like I said before, I think the metaphorical meaning of this film was pretty lost on most of the audience. The few people to whom I’d explained it beforehand understood what was going on, but I’m sad that it ended up being that way – people only understand it if I explain it. However, the overall response to the film was positive even if they didn’t understand exactly what was going on. They enjoyed the visuals and the interactions between the actors, areas where I feel this film excels. Once I explained it to the audience they understood it pretty quickly, but I wish I could’ve made it more clear by using different narrative elements to more clearly state that the woman is a metaphor for a child with an adult’s mind.

Other observations:

            I think one thing that could’ve remedied the problems with color temperature and color correcting would have been to shoot the entire thing during the day. We began shooting at golden hour, and when the sun went down we had to start imitating the sunset with lights. I think that negatively affected our ability to keep things looking natural, even though we achieved the same light structure – the way the light was falling looked like a real sunset, but the color didn’t. It was also difficult to kep the lighting the same because to fill the room we reflected off the ceiling, which was yellow and messed up our lighting temperature as well.

photos 4: flat space

I actually shot the subject and bridge at several different angles in this photo, at several different lens lengths, as she was walking along it. As I looked through them later I decided this was the flattest one because of the out-of-focus background and cut-off lines. She's the only object in focus against a fairly solid green background, and because the lines of the fence end so quickly, they don't particularly lead the eye anywhere. There are also no clear size indications that the fence is receding away from her, making it even flatter. If I were to change anything in this photo I probably would've tried one more angle where the fence is perfectly horizontal.


There's a lot of space in this photo but it's super flat because of the complete lack of depth indicators. The lines strictly follow the X and Y axes, and there's nothing on the Z axis. The sky looks very close in relation to the flag. I'm actually really glad I shot from a low angle here because if I had gone eye-level with the flag the photo would've been deeper, because the mountains behind the flag would've been visible. I like that there's a certain uniformity to this photo, although I think it would've been cool if there were no clouds in the sky!


First of all, I've discovered through this photo that photographing animals is pretty hard! This cat, my parents' cat, was constantly moving and this is the only shot of her looking directly down the lens. I love how it looks like portraiture and that she has such a nice hairlight, surrounded by bokeh. I was on an extremely shallow lens for this shot - a 50mm, if I remember correctly - and I think the shallow depth of field really lends itself to the flat nature of this image. Nothing is in focus but the cat's eyes and nose, making everything around her blurred and flat.

suspense scene: shot list

view the shot list

suspense scene: director's statement of intent

1. What is the story--the beginning, middle, and end--of this film in three or four sentences? In other words, what happens in this scene as it starts, as it progresses, and as it ends?

A group of people is hiding around the living room and kitchen of an apartment. Somewhere else, our main character is walking home, and as soon as he’s about to walk in the door, he gets an alert – “don’t forget to grab the mail” – that causes him to pause. He turns around and leaves, but for the people in the apartment, all they’ve heard is footsteps and they’re nervous. From inside they hear a new set of footsteps – running toward them. A girl bursts in the door, and she’s quickly ushered to a hiding spot by all the other people in the apartment. One of them realizes they’ve forgot to light candles on a birthday cake, and as they get up to do it, the main character walks in the door and everyone yells “Surprise!” – turns out the whole scene has been leading up to a surprise birthday party. 

2. What is the backstory of this scene? Why is this happening to these characters? What does each person want? Why do they want it?

The main character is unsuspecting of his friends’ plan to throw him a surprise birthday party. We enter the scene as three or four of them are already waiting in the main character’s apartment, hiding behind couches and curtains. They know what’s happening, but they’re still nervous because they don’t know when the main character is coming home and they have to stay quiet because they don’t want him to suspect anything.

3. Assume that this scene is from a larger story. What is the theme of that larger story?

I think if this were part of a larger story, the theme would be learning how to truly value friendship. I feel like this scene is a conclusive sort of scene, because clearly these people are all friends with the main character, but the main character isn’t expecting anything even though it’s his birthday. Maybe they’ve been struggling as friends and this is how they make it up to each other. 

4. What, specifically, must the audience understand to engage in the story? How do you intend to communicate that narrative (not emotional) information?

Actually, I think what’s important about this story is what the audience doesn’t understand. I’m going to be showing the people hiding exclusively in close-ups and mediums so the audience can’t see any of the birthday decorations around the house/apartment. The audience can see that the characters are trying to be as quiet and inconspicuous as possible, but they don’t know why. The tension is increased by the character outside walking – we don’t know who he is, but we know the characters inside can hear him and seem to be nervous. I’m going to make the situation tense but ambiguous until the very end, when we see the birthday cake and decorations. Until then, the audience will feel anxious but won’t know why, which I hope will play well on screen.

5. In mainstream media, some scenes are simply chase scenes or scenes of suspense. However, for the goals of this class, there should be more going on than that. Assuming that this scene is from a larger film, explain the narrative, emotional and thematic purpose of this scene in the larger story.

Going along with what I said in the second question, I think if I were making a larger film I would want it to be about friendships. The narrative of the film would deal with expectation and when it goes too far – I can see my main character expecting too much of his friends before the surprise party, perhaps to the degree that he begins to think they don’t like him because they aren’t fulfilling his expectations. It would be an analysis of not respecting other peoples’ priorities, livelihoods, and commitments – I imagine my main character having to learn about sympathy and selflessness. When he does, it’ll be less of him leaving his friends alone and more of his friends treating him better because of the respect he has for them. That’s what leads into their decision to throw him a surprise birthday party.

6. What emotions do you want the audience to experience as they watch this scene? How do you intend make this happen?

I want them to feel anxious, because the characters are feeling anxious. I intend to make that happen by keeping the real nature of the situation ambiguous. We don’t know what these characters are hiding from, and we don’t know if the character walking outside has anything to do with them at first. As I was saying in the fourth question, I’m going to use primarily closeups and mediums in the beginning of the film so that the space feels ambiguous but the characters feel familiar and close from the get-go. We don’t exactly know where they are or what their situation is, but we know they’re hiding and we know they’re at least acquainted with each other. In this film I want it to be more important to see who the characters are rather than where they are.

7. What is the first image of the scene? What is the final image of the scene? Why are you choosing these specific images?

For the first image, I want a closeup of someone peeking over the back of a couch. For the last image, a wide of the main character with all his friends surrounding him – one of them is holding a birthday cake with lit candles. The first image will immediately establish that character(s) are hiding without telling the audience too much about the geography of the space, or the nature of the situation. The last image will be in stark contrast with the first because the audience now knows what the situation is, the space is visible, and all the characters are visible as well. It’s a more comfortable and familiar shot than the first, because I want the audience to lose that sense of initial anxiety by the end of the film.

8. Why is this scene personal to you? (Please don’t answer, “Because I’ve always wanted to make a chase scene!”) What personal experience(s) does this scene remind you of? Ask yourself, “Why do I need to make this scene?”

I’m super into gift-giving, but weirdly enough, I get super anxious about it as well. I’m always worried that the recipient won’t like the gift – or worse, they’ll pretend to like it. in that same vein, I’d like to play with the element of surprise in this short film. What does it take to create a convincing surprise? I thought a lot about whether it would be better to surprise the audience or surprise the characters, and what I came up with surprises the main character but the suspends the audience, who don’t know what is going on but has been offered a better understanding of the characters than the situation itself. I like to think of this film as evoking the same kind of anxiousness that comes with gift-giving – it’s there, but not overwhelming, because the result of gift-giving is so unpredictable. The outcome of this film, too, should feel unpredictable to the audience.

9. Review the 11 subcomponents of space. What are the overall rules for how you will use space in your film? (For example, will one character exist primarily in flat space while the other exists in deep space?) How will use contrast and affinity within shots and from shot to shot? For each rule, articulate why will you use space in this way.  Be specific.

Our main character, the one who spends most of the film outside, will exist in deep space because I want it to feel as though he’s free to move wherever he wants. Maybe it’ll even make him seem intimidating when compared to the hiding friend characters, who will exist in flat space because close-up flatness will make it more difficult to determine what is happening and where they are. I’m planning on using practical lighting to create stark contrast on the character’s faces, make it obvious that the lights are off in the house, and overall up the anxiety of the audience. Distinct, purposeful shadows will help a lot in this piece, I think. I want the approach of the main character to feel looming, maybe threatening – so I’ll make sure he is lit in high-contrast, low lighting as well. I want there to be an overall sense of dread that will be upped by the constricting nature of flat space and low lighting.

10. What focal lengths will you use? Why?

I’d like to use longer lenses for everything except the last few shots, which is when I’ll widen out to establish the space and situation and overall make everything feel more calm and approachable. My DP and I discussed shooting on a 5D III, which is a full-frame sensor, so I’m going to stick to lens lengths 35mm and over for my close-ups and mediums. For those last final wide shots, I think a 14mm or 24mm would be sufficient, although I’m leaning more towards favoring a 14mm because it’ll be able to capture the whole space in one go.

11. In a bulleted list, articulate two or three potential obstacles to creating a successful film. How can you be prepared to overcome these? Be specific!

I’ve already talked to a couple people about acting in this piece, but I think one of the biggest struggles I can foresee is finding cast. My dream is to use middle-aged people, not college-age kids, but I don’t know if that will happen. I think it would be more charming overall with a middle-aged cast and I’m going to try my best to make it happen.

Lighting outside is going to be difficult! I’m not as worried about the lighting inside, because I’ll be using a lot of practical lights and hopefully Kinos, but outside I don’t have any power sources and it’ll be especially difficult because the main character is walking and moving. I’ll probably end up using street lights and no cinema lights – I’m just worried about how that will look.

evoking childhood film

( https://vimeo.com/183269702 )

photos 3

The lines in this photo work really well, I think, other than the fact that they lead the eye from right to left instead of left to right. The natural way we read is from left to right, so that makes the photo feel a little off-kilter. Other than that, the line of the trees, grass, and even the sun flare lead you directly to the horse, which is the focus of the photo. I think this photo could've been enhanced if I had photographed it at a higher angle, which would've made the mountain landscape in the background more visible. It's a pretty flat image and I wish it wasn't, because we were in such a stunning location. I do like, however, how I was able to shoot this image on the shadow side and rim the horse and rider in sunlight.


This is my favorite photo I took this week because I think the lines not only lead the eye, but frame the scene. It's like a frame within a frame, almost, because the audience members are one of the main focuses of the photo and they're caged in by the lines of the stadium seats. The rule of thirds is also being put to good use here, as all the subjects of the photo are in the lower third. There's also a lot of repetition and rhythm in this photo, with the pillars in the seats and the cars lined up in the derby pit. I love the negative space in the top of the photo as well. If I could change anything, however, I would make it so the top of the stadium seats is in the middle of the photo rather than hitting the lower third. I do like how flat this photo is, though. The wall of black in the back makes for an interesting image.


As menial as the action may be in this photo, I think it's a great action shot. Not only do we have a subject doing something - drinking water - we also have rain falling in the background and foreground, some drops in focus, and some not. Her body is turned away from the viewer, suggesting she's going somewhere, or that the viewer just got her attention. I like that she's breaking the fourth wall by looking directly down the lens as well. I like the close-up nature of this photo, but I do with it were a little deeper and her eyes were centered. I could've made it deeper by photographing her not against a wall of trees, but against the blurred hiking trail behind her.

photos 2: contrast and affinity

I think the lines of this photo create a sort of directional affinity. This is a erosion play table in the Thanksgiving Point dinosaur museum, and it's always lined by kids making various islands and structures in the sand. The shape of the table is long and curved, which makes for an interesting line disappearing into the background of the photo. The extended shape even ties the children together, and luckily they're all wearing similar monochrome clothing, an arrangement made up of grays and blues. The boy in the front left of the photo gives the image structure and flow, as the observer's eye works from him and follows the table all the way to the blurred background.


The contrast in this photo is created primarily by color. The photo was shot shadow side, making the girl's face, hair, and clothing darker than her surroundings. What the eye is immediately drawn to, then, is the bright red balloon. It's more vibrant than anything else in the photo, and also a completely different shape. What I do wish is that the lines of the photo were pointing more directly to the balloon, and maybe that more of the balloon was visible. I think that would add to the draw of the balloon's color and make it more of a vivid contrast element.


The tonal contrast in this photo is similarly created by shadow, but in the sense that the focus of the photo is cast in shadow. The world around the girls, and the tree they're playing in, is brightly lit and sunny - it almost seems as if they're supposed to be there, playing in the sun. The tree is contrastingly dark, but full of life. The girls have turned it into a place of innocent fun, a place to escape the bright sun. I think it's interesting - though it wasn't intentional - that all their faces are turned away. It distances them from the observer, but also allows the observer to imagine what their expressions are and what they're thinking.

evoking childhood: shot list

view the shot list

evoking childhood: director's statement of intent

NAME: Brenna Empey

DATE: 9/6/2016

DP: Hailey Schoenfeldt

1.    What was your childhood like? Carefree? Painful? Glorious? Mysterious? What specific memories do you have? Sounds? Smells? Tastes? Faces? What did the world look like to you then? How did others see you? What scared you? What did creativity feel like to you? How have things changed for you?

My childhood was odd, I think, because I spent the first eight years of it as an only child. When my little brother entered the scene, I had no idea what to do or how to act, and I’m kind of in the same state of mind even as a 21-year-old. Being social was never hugely important in my family, even growing up – that’s not to say I didn’t have friends, but I don’t think I valued my friends like I probably should have. I have distinct memories of my parents telling me I could invite someone to the pool, as my family was going that evening, and me saying that I didn’t want to. I don’t remember being bullied or mistreated by other children when I was young, but I certainly wasn’t popular by any stretch of the imagination. I was smart, I was really going places, and that was about it. I was a bit of a show-off, and not the fun type. I did value connections I made with others, though – when I was offered a position at a spectrum school, I decided not to go because I would be leaving my friends.

When I moved to Utah, my values shifted a bit. I’d grown up in a city where leading a vastly different life from others was acceptable. But I moved into suburban Utah, where all the neighborhood kids knew each other, and all their moms went to book club and volunteered at schools together and went to lunch every week. It was a culture shock for both me and my parents, and I don’t think we ever really fit into the tightly-knit Mormon neighborhood lifestyle. What did happen, though, was I began to see people differently, especially people my age. I’d never heard the word “clique” until I moved to Utah, and I didn’t understand what it was until I began to feel left out of the clique of ward girls that were constantly hanging out in my neighborhood. That led me to be malleable, to become a person the other girls wanted to be around, and I became extremely skilled in chameleon friendships. I took on people-pleaser qualities until I was popular and felt included. I still do that.

Emotionally and psychologically, my childhood wasn’t traumatizing in any way, but it was definitely challenging. I went from being an only child living in a city, with the unthreatened attention of my parents and plenty of friends, to a confused sister with no understanding of how to function in a clique or in a neighborhood atmosphere. One thing that stayed with me throughout it all was creativity, however. I’m grateful to my parents for fostering creativity and imagination in me from a very young age. I wrote little stories when I was young and did a lot of craft projects with my mom and her sisters. Creating things has been a state of escape since I was very young, and I’m glad that I’ve been able to pursue it as a career as I get older.

2.   List 10 or more people, places, or things that remind you of your childhood. Can any of these be used as symbols or motifs to communicate meaning and emotion?

My grandmother’s dining room (Virginia)

The beach at Chincoteague Island

The parking lot of the apartment complex where I lived

My parents’ bedroom

My second-grade science teacher

Calf Creek Campground

My grandparents’ basement (Utah)

Columbia Elementary School

My great-grandmother’s garden (California)

My cousins Jessica and Spencer

3.   Before continuing, consider how can you subvert our expectations and surprise us? What individual images capture the essence of your experience? How can you avoid cliché? Can you provide a hint of story--even if it is not elaborated on? How can you imply rather than explicitly state? How can you use ellipsis to let the audience fill in gaps? How can color, or lack thereof, help evoke emotion? What about sound?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I was never really taught how to create connections with people as a child, so there aren’t a lot of faces in the memory of my childhood. Rather, it’s hands or feet, or the backs of heads. When I think about a particular Christmas when my grandmother bought me a stuffed animal, I don’t remember what she looked like as she gave it to me, but I remember what her hands looked like, and I remember the sound of her voice as she gave it to me. I have a lot of memories like that. I remember feet, bare, being dipped in a therapeutic wax soak in my aunt’s tiny living room – I don’t know whose they were. I’m thinking about doing a film that has a complete absence of faces, because most of my childhood memories don’t have faces.

4.   Describe the progression--the beginning, middle, and end--of this film in three or four sentences? In other words, what happens in this scene as it starts, as it progresses, and as it ends?

I imagine a woman writing an angry letter, sitting at a table. She gets up to get a snack and walks over broken mirrors on the floor. She goes to a cabinet and retrieves a plastic bag full of Teddy Grahams with their heads broken off. She sits back down, finishes the letter, and stuffs it into an envelope. She goes out to put it in her mailbox and puts the red flag up, and next thing we know it's being opened by a man we've never seen before. He has a cartoon face on the back of his shirt. The end!

5.   What, specifically, would you like the audience to understand? How do you intend to communicate that information?

Basically I’d like the audience to understand what I described in the third question, about how I had a difficult time learning how to create connections with people (and I’m still learning). If I were to name a theme for this film, it would be that people aren’t always remembered through their faces, but can be remembered through their actions or voices or quirks.

6.   What emotion(s) do you want the audience to experience about your childhood through this film? How do you intend to make this happen?  

I want the audience to experience inaccessibility. Specifically, I want the “characters” in my film to be inaccessible. I want to film their hands, their feet, the backs of their heads – all with the intention of distancing the audience from them. I hope that it will feel paradoxical, almost frustrating, because the characters seem so close and the audience will be interacting with various parts of them, except the face. It will be frustrating because the face is the most expressive part of a human being, the part that speaks the most to an audience, and my audience won’t be able to see it.

7.   What is the first image of the film? What is the final image of the film? Why are you choosing these specific images?

The first image of the film will be the back of a woman’s head as she ties her hair back into a ponytail. The last image will be a handheld shot – we are circling from the back of a man’s head, and as we’re just about to see his face, the film will end and cut to black. I want the moments that we’re closest to seeing a human face, and therefore closest to making a connection with that person, to be the most intimate. Hence I’ll show the backs of my characters’ heads, so we’re seeing what they’re seeing and sharing their point of view, but we can’t see them.

8.   Why is this scene personal to you? Ask yourself, “Why do I need to make this scene?”

It’s important and personal to me because, when I was younger, I don’t think I realized what it meant to be emotionally disconnected from other people. I didn’t realize how taxing it was to make a conscious effort to be someone’s friend, rather than allowing it to be a comfortable and natural process. I need to make this scene because I need to have a conversation with myself about how it felt to be an emotionally disconnected child. There’s a reason I don’t like cuddling, a reason I don’t keep in touch with old friends, a reason I have a hard time making new ones and keeping them. I’ve thought about it a lot but never written it down, and I think this film will serve as my writing utensil.

9.   Before making your shot list, consider: How can you subvert the audience’s expectations and surprise us? What individual images capture the essence of your experience? How can you avoid cliché? Can you provide a hint of story--even if it is not elaborated on? How can you imply rather than explicitly state? How can you use ellipsis to let the audience fill in gaps? How can color, or lack thereof, help evoke emotion?

I think the biggest cliche I can avoid with my scene is never giving the audience the satisfaction of seeing a face. Perhaps some people will go into my film thinking I'll show in the very end - maybe it'll be the last frame, a final face. I'm not going to give them that. There will be tantalizing moments where we get close, we almost see a face, but it'll never happen. I think I'll do a slice of life narrative rather than a highly structured story, because I'm more interested in the everyday occurrence of being emotionally disconnected. I'm not going to make my characters try and fix it, or even address it. They simply live with it, and so does the audience, who I'm going to treat like a third character - someone who is observing what's happening without engaging because of disconnect. As I said in the third question, I'm going to use a lot of images of hands, feet, and the backs of heads.

Most importantly: How can you intensify your purpose or intent for each shot? Can you will emotion into your images?

I'll go into every shot thinking: what does the audience want to see? Once I know that, I'll be able to structure the shot around not satisfying that want, which will make the film both engaging and frustrating.  

10.  List two or three potential obstacles to creating a successful film. How can you be prepared to overcome these? Be specific!

     

      - I'm having a bit of trouble with the story, in the sense that I'm afraid it won't be interesting without faces. I'm also going to try and do it without any dialogue, so that adds to my worry. I just have to make sure that each shot is interesting and purposeful enough to keep the audience's attention.

      - I'm also worried about finding actors. I know quite a few since I've casted a few projects, but all those actors have been paid, so I don't know how many favors I can pull in. I need a man and a woman, and I'd rather not have them be college age, but we'll see how it goes.

photos 1: spaces

I feel like there's a lot of potential in an empty space, devoid of people and objects. With this piece I wanted to communicate that idea of emptiness with possibility - the idea that even with nothing, something can be done. This is an old gym space belonging to a friend's parents, and they're in the process of repairing and remodeling it. There are a lot of vertical lines to work with in this space, but after taking a couple shots putting windows and pillars on thirds, I decided to try something different. I decided to make the ceiling the focus of the piece, and made it fill 2/3 of the frame vertically. I think this made a more interesting composition all together - not only does the ceiling look ominous, it's more interesting in color and texture than the windows and floor below. I think I could've done better, however, with spatially composing this piece by incorporating the rule of thirds not only vertically, but horizontally as well.


When I look at this image, I think of morning. What's odd about that is that this photo was taken in the afternoon, as the sun was dipping lower and lower into the western sky. What I ended up with was a photo that told the story of a sleepy town contrasted against a wild, awake sky. It's a space full of life and quiet peace all at the same time. I placed the sun and clouds in the center of the frame because I wanted all focus to immediately go there, and then allow the viewer to take in what is going on around that focus. I didn't do this intentionally - I believed all the details would be silhouetted against the sky - but I like how the road and its surroundings look in this photo. There's a few details here and there, just enough that you can tell what things are, but not enough to be distracting from the focus. The only things I don't like about this photo are the telephone wires going across the sky, and the fact that the horizon line is off-kilter, but other than that I like how it turned out.


This is the most constricted but deep-space thing I photographed this week. I was originally going for something more in conjunction with the idea of empty spaces, but I like the accident that happened here. I took a couple photos of this space without the man standing in the alleyway, but I like how he breaks up the center focus of the photo, which is the alleyway and the colorful storefront beyond. The space is still fairly empty, and still raises a lot of potential questions - where is he going? Why has he stopped? Is he speaking to someone we can't see? I also like the imbalance of it, even though it's a centered photo. It's very dark on the right and brightly illuminated on the left, which gives the eye lots to look at. Even the texture of the trash cans is interesting. The only thing I would change is to dim the clipping light on the left, and to get rid of the blurred-out object (wall?) in the foreground.

ten things

1. 2D Animation



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw2_HZTuQBE

I watched a lot of Disney movies and PBS cartoons as a kid, and I've never lost interest in traditional animation. Today it's being used in smart, interesting, modern ways that can coexist with traditional animated children's media. There are plenty of intelligent animated TV comedies for adults out there, like Bob's Burgers, but I'm also interested in the way animation is being used as a complex and mature medium beyond that. The work of Miyazaki is a long-standing example, and more recently films like The Secret of Kells, A Cat In Paris and The Illusionist.

2. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger



This is an angsty book about a sociopathic teenager who we, the readers, follow around in New York for a few days. I read it at a time in my life when coming of age stories seemed like the coolest thing to me - but this book became something much more important. It was the first time that I realized I could be fooled into believing in heroism, and that the stories of "bad guys" and monsters were just as meaningful, complex, and intriguing as the stories of the "good guys." Holden Caulfield is a sympathetic villain, a monster of sorts, and I found myself rooting for him. It's a sharply written novel, unlike anything I'd ever read before, and I found both the writing style and the subject matter fascinating. It's one of my favorite books.

3. Chincoteague Island



This island nature preserve off the coats of Maryland is somewhere I spent a lot of time with my family as a kid. I was quite the horse girl when I was young,and I think a lot of it came from spending time on this island. There are herds of wild horses all over the island, and there was never a moment I was unhappy when I was there. My family and I used to bike all over the island to catch a glimpse of horses in the fields and on the beaches. Some of my best childhood memories were formed here, and even though I haven't been for almost five years, I'm looking forward to going back.

4. Tous Les Memes Music Video



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAMWdvo71ls

Conceptually, this is one of the smartest music videos I've ever seen. Then you get into the cinematography, the lighting, the choreography, the makeup, the production design, the music and performance itself, and it becomes my absolute favorite music video. Gender fluidity is something I don't fully understand but want to know more about, particularly since it's an important facet of identity to a large number of individuals around the world. You don't have to know what the lyrics are saying to understand the idea being portrayed and discussed in this video, and I think it's an amazing example of tackling a complex subject without words. The fact that it's gorgeous is just a fortunate plus!

5. Xavier Dolan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dTvuOWazhE

I'm not even sure how I came to discover Xavier Dolan's work, but he's become my absolute favorite modern auteur. His films inspire me not necessarily because of the subject matter, but because he's not shy about filmmaking. If he wants to say something about society or sexuality or psychology, he'll say it. If he wants to make a film purely for him and his friends, he'll make it. He doesn't pull any stops or make any excuses. The fact that he won three awards at Cannes when he was barely 20 years old has made him pretty pretentious, but he's an extremely intelligent and progressive filmmaker who tackles difficult topics with tasteful rawness. He's the writer/director of my favorite movie, Mommy.

6. Tattoos



A couple years ago I worked with a special effects makeup artist who had recently competed on Face-Off and was covered in tattoos. She had designed all her own tattoos, and they ranged everywhere from a zombie jazz band performing on stage to Celtic designs snaking up her neck. I remember her describing her body as a canvas, and every single tattoo she had, she was proud of.  I loved the concept of the "body as a canvas," a place to express oneself that has a heavier permanence and presence than a painting or piece of writing. I think tattoos are beautiful and expressive and one of my favorite things is to hear the stories behind tattoos.

7. Local Markets



Having a childhood in America means I've grown up with a separation between where food and goods come from (and more importantly who's manufacturing or growing them) and where they end up to be sold, like in superstores. When I moved to Utah I started going to farmer's markets, and as I've gotten older, I've sought out ways to support local growers and artists. There's nothing quite like buying fresh fruit from the person who toiled to produce it. When I was in Croatia this summer with a friend, there were fruit stands all over the place, and we didn't buy fresh food from anywhere else as we traveled through the country. Same goes for London, where we spent a lot of time in street markets buying all sorts of things from local artists, bakers, jewelry makers - you name it.

8. "Lemonade" by Beyoncé



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49fcxNp2ZFk

The visual album is becoming a trend in the music industry, but I think Beyoncé trumps everyone with Lemonade. She created it in the wake of her separation with Jay-Z, which a lot of people speculate was her source material for the lyricism of the album, but it's really about so much more than that. She writes not from a breakup experience, but from her overarching experience as a woman who has gone through heartbreak and won't let the bad choices of others bring her down. It's an album about strength, about discovering oneself, about accepting oneself, and about standing up for oneself. It's the kind of album I listen to when I have a down day, and the kind of album I'll show one of my girlfriends if they need a boost of confidence. 

9. The Artist is Present by Marina Abramović



This is a performance art piece that Marina Abramovic organized in 2010 to appear in the MoMA. To put it simply, she sat in a chair all day, across from an empty chair. Visitors to the museum could come and sit in the empty chair opposite her on one condition - that they look into her eyes, and she looked into theirs. It was a piece about the rareness of true human connection, and the difficulty of it as well. Some people had a hard time looking at her for an extended period of time. Some broke down into tears. It's important to note that there were no words spoken between Marina and the visitor - all they could do was look at each other. I think the participants' reactions to this experience tell us a lot about human connection and how important it is. This project not only made me more interested in performance art, but made me look for ways to connect with the people around me more often.

10. The Ursa Mini



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scD5QvrLwNc

This camera is out of this world. I recently DP'd a short film on it and didn't have a single complaint about the handling, setup, picture quality and dynamicism of this camera. I could talk about it forever, but what's more interesting to me is that this camera is perfect evidence of how filmmaking has shifted. This is a $3500 camera capable of shooting 15 stops of dynamic range in 4.6K. In other words, it's cinema quality accessible to anyone with an interest in filmmaking and a bit of money saved up. That's pretty revolutionary when you think about it. I feel blessed to live in a time when filmmaking is so much easier than it has been in the past, and that I'm given so many opportunities to do so.